a big loser
This is my random main blog. Everything funny/weird I like is here along with some dumb posts about myself.
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alexstark-the-hunter:

FREEDOM OF SPEECH MEANS THE GOVERNMENT CANT THROW YOU IN JAIL FOR VOICING YOUR OPINION IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR PEERS CANNOT VIEW IT NEGATIVELY OR REPRIMAND YOU ON BEING A DICK IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT IS OBLIGED TO PUT UP WITH YOU GIVING THEM A BAD NAME IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO BE OPPRESSIVE IN YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS THEN CRY WHEN YOU ARE CALLED OUT ON IT NOW SHUT UP FUCK PLEASE AND THANK

(via phantaglyphs)

horror movie opening scene

white girl:i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy:come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl:you're just trying to scare me.
white boy:lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl:babe what that??
white boy:i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl:zack!!!
white boy:ha ha just kidding!
white girl:asshole!
white boy:im just playin babe
white girl:that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy:i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl:zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl:ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl:ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen:BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

misssteph:

This is literally my favourite part of anything ever.

(via the-apples-were-monitored)

imtoolaceytodoanything:

bondoge:

why do i still have to go to school i thought slavery was abolished in 1865

that’s an interesting fact, where’d you learn that?

(Source: odumb, via enak0e)

straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

(Source: bearsnbritts, via satanscrimsonhorror)

alltheladiesyouhate:

calling relationships that include bisexual women “straight relationships” or “lesbian relationships” promotes the biphobic idea that bisexual people are half-gay-half-straight, or that their sexuality is conditional upon whom they are in a relationship with

(via the-apples-were-monitored)

amydoesthings:

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

THAT LAST COMMENT IS WHAT DID IT. HOW DARE THEY

(via tomfeltonobliviation)

passific-rim-job:

meladoodle:

where can i buy some thigh high crocs

hell

(Source: meladoodle, via bunny-feast)

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